Our hero is an 'old soul', longing for happiness after a turbulent past, hunting for a woman to love him for who he is: a man who loves the outdoors and yearns to start a family - who also, thanks to family money, just happens to be rich as Croesus.
Kailen, the woman with our future in her hands, is a boho beauty with glinting green eyes and, she says, an ability to sniff out a gold-digger at a hundred paces. Learning that Kailen is about to interview her first shortlist of 60 applicants - drawn from a longlist of 600 - I elbow my way to the head of the queue. The description of the millionaire on Kailen's site says he is: 'A mid-30s, gentle spirited man from one of the world's most prominent aristocratic families, sophisticated and well-mannered with a passion for adventure.'It continues: 'He enjoys everything from snowboarding in Japan to free diving in the ocean, deep-sea fishing to ranching in the mountains.
Single women everywhere, I give you a real-life fairy tale.
A kind, sensitive, compassionate, gentlemanly 34-year-old cowboy, complete with rugged, rock star looks, and a new puppy, is looking for love in Great Britain.
It's not often you receive an account of your shortcomings to your (blushing, aged) face.
Yet, here I am, standing in a figure-hugging frock, being assessed - and rejected - for possible romance.
We get on like a house on fire, and I persuade her to see me in person, despite my being 4,004.
It is immediately evident that Kailen is really nice - smart, funny, genuinely a fan of the man who has employed her services, and committed to finding him the woman of his dreams.
Still more curiously, the individual I am being sized up by is a woman - not just any woman, but the world's leading matchmaker.'Love architect' Kailen Rosenberg has played Cupid to countless people looking for love during her 22 years in the business.
The 48-year-old life coach and former model is media mogul Oprah Winfrey's favourite relationship expert and the go-to girl for every A-list couple in a crisis (although maddeningly she's tightlipped about who).
Kailen is sporting a baseball hat bearing the legend: LOVE.