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It can be tempting to rationalize this away: after all, why wouldn’t someone take being desired as a compliment?

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If, for example, you believe that only “alpha” – for a suitably mistaken definition of “alpha” men get women, then that will be part of your reality.

Not because it’s notice or pay heed to that which confirms your pre-existing belief.

Not only will others feel the unnaturalness of their pose, but the stress and strain of keeping up the act only serves to wear them down faster, leaving them drained and upset… Not everybody is built to be a club-hopping player – and yet that’s what PUA culture directs men towards.

Not everybody is cut out for traditional monogamy, for polyamory, for kink, for vanilla sex…

I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize…

The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.Nowhere was this more apparent than in the early days of the Pick Up community, when people assumed that one of the secrets of success with meeting women is to “peacock”; that is, dress up in exotic or even outlandish ways in order to get attention.Suddenly, you couldn’t swing a dead cat in a bar without hitting someone trying to rock a fuzzy top-hat and black nail polish or a shiny silk jacket, spiky earrings and New Rock boots.Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.There’s nothing less appealing to a potential partner than feeling as though that they’re nothing more than a warm hole or body that’s filling a slot marked “girlfriend”.

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