Men often have an easier time separating sex from emotions, says dating coach Evan Marc Katz."A lot of women aspire to it, but it backfires." But if you're newly divorced, you'll see a lot more attempts -- and successes.
It's hard to advise for or against FWB or NSA arrangements, says Katz, although he says, "It's pretty weird to spend that much time and share that much intimacy with someone you have no feelings for." But as long as no one's getting hurt, so what? That means you need to do a "careful and candid emotional self-appraisal," says Klungness.
And both you and your friend need to be on the same page about what's going on, Greer cautions.
Then there is none of pretense, fuss, the whole charade of wining and dining a date when all you are interested in just having sex.
The combination of physical comfort factor as well lack of pretense can make sex with an ex the perfect way to keep your libido happy and occupied when you are In between relationships.
She and many of her divorced friends didn't have FWB relationships as much as NSA sex -- they'd get together with someone a handful of times but it was strictly for bedroom activities, not real "friendship." "Time spent together was fun, sexual, consensual, pleasurable and mutually respectable," she says, "but they wouldn't call each other to say, go for a coffee or for a walk." Mostly because neither wanted to; they were clear on what the get-togethers were about.
What she and others found is that not only did it satisfy them sexually, but it also allowed them to experience and explore their sexual side "without guilt, romantic agenda or biological clock ticking.This can translate into a power, an awakening" some may never have experienced before," she says.No only is that liberating, says marriage and family therapist Dr.Advantages of the arrangement Whether or not feasible in the long run, hooking up with an ex may seem to come naturally for many, at least in the present.After all, you know each other’s bodies better than anyone else; you know what would please each other and how to get each other off.You know: two friends who like each other but not as boyfriend-girlfriend material so they have no problem sleeping together in between "real" relationships without things getting weird.