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We both feel strongly that our relationships with other people don't take away from how we feel about each other.

How Sleeping With Other People Makes Me Love Being Married" data-reactid="47"Related How Sleeping With Other People Makes Me Love Being Married My sister (who is also my best friend) and her husband know, which is extremely helpful. I felt like I was living a double life for a while there, which I hated.

This isn't a rule but more of a practice: we have not met one another's partners in the past. Not meeting one another's partners also allows each of us to have an identity outside of our marriage, which is nice.

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He brought up the idea of him being comfortable with me casually dating other people early on in our relationship.

He knew that he was my first boyfriend (I was 18), and he didn't want me to feel like I was missing out on dating.

We reached out to Sara to share some insight into their journey to polyamory, the ground rules they've set, and what it's like to date other people - and maybe even fall in love with other people - when you're already married to someone you love. We met on our first day of college - I was determined to break out of my nerdy shell and sit next to the cutest person in the room. He ended up being super quiet and thus I was convinced that he hated me, but in actuality he was just nervous (and a soft-spoken person). We started talking about being monogamish (which later evolved into full-blown polyamory, haha) about two years into our relationship. Ben is an open-minded person who has never been a big believer in social constructions or tradition.

I am a bit more of a rule follower, but definitely liberal and nonjudgmental.

We've also told a few close friends, all of whom have been awesome and supportive.

The idea of telling our parents makes us both want to poop our pants, and thus will never happen (nor does it need to).

As time went on, the "casual" piece has become less and less important.

I dated someone for over a year, and the consistency (and depth) was really nice.

We talked about nonmonogamy in theory for a long time (two years? In hindsight, I feel like this gave me time to get used to the idea and for us to build a solid foundation.

One of my biggest takeaways from our relationship (and from hearing about other couple's open relationships) is that a successful nonmongamous relationship centers on honest communication and a strong connection between the couple.

Ben hasn't fallen in love with anyone (he is a private person, and the women he is dating are not looking for serious relationships).


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