"The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun." -Mark Twain You are almost certain Mark Twain said that. 04/18/09 "John: Topple urn." You clumsily mishandle the SACRED URN. In retrospect, upon mulling cinematic tropes regarding ash-filled urns, this outcome was a virtual certainty.
04/18/09 "John: Toss Game Bro into fire." It doesn't burn as quickly as you hoped. You'd probably better clean it up before DAD finds it.
You don't care what COLONEL SASSACRE says, that makes it AT LEAST a million percent funnier.
A fire BELONGS in a FIREPLACE, dammit, cata(ptcha)gorically, at all times, without exception.
As domestic myth of unaccountable origin holds, a home borrows the spirit of the flame for as long as it makes a guest of it, much as the moon takes liberty with the sun's rays.
You pry them out of the CAKE and captchalogue them. 04/20/09 "John: Examine 3rd and 4th walls of room." 04/20/09 "John: Check Pesterchum." Another one of your chums is messaging you.
04/20/09 "John: Check message." |PESTERLOG| 04/20/09 "John: Go back downstairs." You can now execute that brilliant idea you had.
04/14/09 "John: Examine contents of chest." In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER. Among the ARTIFACTS are: TWO (2) FAKE ARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], ONE (1) PAIR OF TRICK HANDCUFFS, ONE (1) STUNT SWORD, ONE (1) MAGICIAN'S HAT, ONE (1) PAIR OF BEAGLE PUSS GLASSES, SEVERAL (~) SMOKE PELLETS, SEVERAL (~) BLOOD CAPSULES, and ONE (1) COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE'S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY, and ONE (1) COPY OF HARRY ANDERSON'S "WISE GUY", BY MIKE CAVENEY. 04/15/09 "John: Examine incoming message." You pull up to your COMPUTER. You decorated your desktop with some rather handsome WALLPAPER which you made yourself. Your desktop is also littered with various PROGRAMMING PROJECT FILES. 04/15/09 "John: Open Pesterchum." Only one of your CHUMS is logged in. 04/15/09 "John: Open message." |PESTERLOG| -- turntech Godhead 04/15/09 "John: Look out window." You see the view of your yard from your window. In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. The red flippy-lever thing means you have new mail. 04/15/09 "John: Go outside and check mailbox." You are about to hurry down stairs when you hear a car pull into the driveway. You decide to chill out up here for a while until the dust settles.
You will have to use the pellets first in order to access the arms. 04/16/09 "John: Allocate hammer to strife specibus." You check the back of your STRIFE SPECIBUS for the KIND ABSTRATUS you have in mind for it.Each GAMEBRO MAGAZINE is guaranteed to be printed on 40% recycled asbestos. 04/18/09 "John: Fondly regard cremation." You examine the SACRED URN containing your departed NANNA'S ASHES. 04/18/09 "John: Combine father's pipe with clever disguise." You think now would be a good time to beef up your CLEVER DISGUISE.When your father gives her portrait a wistful glance now and then, you can tell it brings back painful memories. 04/18/09 "John: Examine oversized gift." Contemplating what could be inside this package is sort of exciting, but it makes you a little nervous at the same time. 04/19/09 "John: Captchalogue ashes." First you prop the HARLEQUIN DOLL up on the couch.There should be just enough FROSTING on the FAKE ARMS to serve as an adequate adhesive.04/20/09 "John: Attach arms to doll." Hehehehehehehehe.On one wall hangs a picture of a fella who sure knows how to have a laugh, a man after your own heart.