reporter Alex Williams, who argues in his article "The End of Courtship?
I'm lured in by these trend pieces and their sexy headlines and consistently let down by their conclusions about my generation's moral depravity, narcissism, and distaste for true love. Instead, I armed myself with a blasé smile and answered, "Just text me to let me know what's up. " Sure, I wanted a plan for when we were supposed to hang out but felt I needed to meet Nate on his level of vagueness. to ask "What's up" (no question mark — that would seem too desperate). When I saw him in class, he glanced away whenever we made eye contact. Instead, he said that he thought I was "really attractive and bright" but he just hadn't been interested in dating me. So to avoid seeming or any of the related stereotypes commonly pegged on women, I followed Nate's immature lead: I walked away to get a beer and dance with my friends. This anecdote sums up a pattern I have experienced, observed, and heard about from almost all my college-age friends.
And when someone does want a relationship, they downplay it.
This leads to awkward, sub-text-laden conversations, of which I've been on both sides."The great irony is that no one seems to enjoy playing the whoever-cares-less-wins game.
Between 20, New York University sociologist Paula England, Ph D, conducted an online survey in which she compiled data from more than 20,000 students at 21 colleges and universities throughout the United States.
Her data showed that 61 percent of men hoped a hookup would turn into something more and 68 percent of women hoped for more — almost the same!
No., Michael Kimmel, Ph D, explores the world of young men between adolescence and adulthood, including the college years.
The first rule of what he calls Guyland's culture of silence is that "you can express no fears, no doubts, no vulnerabilities." Sure, feminism appears to be all the rage on campus, but many self-identified feminists — myself included — equate liberation with the freedom to act "masculine" (not being oversensitive or appearing thin-skinned).The fact that women now invest in their ambitions rather than spend college looking for a husband (the old MRS degree) is a good thing.But Rosin doesn't acknowledge that there is still sexism lurking beneath her assertion that women are now able to "keep pace with the boys." Is the fact that some college women are now approaching casual sex with a stereotypically masculine attitude a sign of progress?When I asked my friend Alix, 22, also a recent Harvard grad, what the biggest struggle of college dating was for her, she didn't hesitate before saying: "I am terrified of getting emotionally overinvested when I'm seeing a guy.I'm scared of being totally honest." I've felt this way too.In theory, hookup culture empowers millennial women with the time and space to focus on our ambitious goals while still giving us the benefit of sexual experience, right? As Maddie, my 22-year-old friend from Harvard (who, FYI, graduated with highest honors and is now at Yale Law School), puts it: "The 'I don't have time for dating' argument is bullshit.