6’s and 7’s are readily interested in him, but he doesn’t find them attractive enough.
These guys, who are, like me, probably 7’s in looks and 9’s in intelligence, just can’t help but to go for women who are 9’s in looks, but 5’s in emotional intelligence/compatibility.
Most of us take the futile route of trying to change the second one – “How do I MAKE him like me? ” “He doesn’t know what’s good for him.” But, as we’ve established a few hundred times on this blog, you can’t change anyone else’s thinking. To be fair, it’s possible to “make” someone like you by becoming a more desirable catch – there’s no doubt that a man who earns more money, gains more confidence, and gets more experience will have a more positive dating life. And as the furor about Lori Gottlieb’s Marry Him proved, nothing pisses women off more than the suggestion that they may be somewhat responsible for being single. There are tons of 38-year-old male Ivy-League educated lawyers who just can’t find a single woman good enough for him.
Now, take a look at those two problems; which one do you think you can change? But increasing your dating options can be a risky proposition, at best. Any conversation about opening up to more potential prospects leads us down the slippery slope to settling.
And as easy as it is to talk about gaining confidence and experience, most folks would rather sit on the sidelines and complain that the people you want don’t want you in return. In fact, the easiest remedy for an ailing love life is to It is anathema to suggest this, of course.
Katie wanted to know how to make Tom like her and how to get rid of Bill. “Yeah, kind of.” I’m delighted to report that Katie is going out with Bill again. Then be sure to check out my e Book, “Why He Disappeared – the Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever“. I wanted tall, dark, handsome, highly intelligent, sophisticated, cultured man…
When we dug deeper, I learned that she was embarrassed at the thought of introducing her friends to Bob because he wasn’t as “sophisticated” as her other tony Connecticut friends. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she “settled” her way into an amazing relationship. and am falling in love with a short(ish), balding, red-haired guy (I always hated the idea of red headed men), who’s older than my target range and much shorter than I wanted.
This takes care of most of a man’s basic needs – for companionship, for laughs, for fun. This is unfortunate and short-sighted because nobody dies thinking that he wishes he had a 72” Sony instead of a 64” Vizio. Women, who are, in general, more emotional and intuitive, are more likely to define their lives by their relationships.
As I look at that list, it occurs to me that most of my clients who are perfectly content being single are satisfied with their female friendships. So when they lack a partner, they’ll be disproportionately sadder than men, who just bury themselves in more work and (sometimes) play. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: men need more help; women ask for more help.
Or does it all simply come down to the capriciousness of the female orgasm – since men can have an orgasm with practically anyone, they don’t much care who they’re with, whereas if a woman finds someone who’s actually good in bed she’s desperate to hang on to him?! My assistant says it’s because when they’re single, they can play video games and watch porn, and if they got a girlfriend, she’d insist they give up one or both. So, together, let’s consider why men are generally cooler with being single than women: 1. As I observed in “Why He Disappeared”, this tends to be the way that men deal with most of their relationships.